Musings of a Perfectionist

So, Results Day. An emotional rollercoaster for me, not going to sugar coat it. The hardest part was trying to actually get through the amounts of paper so that I could see all my grades. While all my grades were good and I was happy with them, there was one that I wasn't that happy with. I had been predicted a much higher grade as well, which didn't help. But my teacher was very helpful and found out the grade boundary so I'm going to get it remarked as I was only two marks off. I guess that for anyone who is not completely happy or who needed a higher grade, just remember that there are other options. Before today, I'd get really annoyed when anyone said that, but it is true. There are things that I can do despite getting a lower grade (especially as it's something I wanted to study next year). But there were also good things! My friends were (mostly) happy with their own grades, and it's always lovely to get excited for them. :) The teachers who were th...

Basically, I was recently doing work experience (as you may know) and I came across the term 'rainbow baby'. A rainbow baby is a baby that is born following a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss. They are known as rainbow babies because, in nature, a rainbow follows a storm and traditionally is a symbol of peace and hope. There is an incredibly sad video that I watched during work experience, and I had to go to the toilets to make sure that it wasn't too obvious that I was crying. The link is  here . In researching further, I also discovered the term 'sunshine baby'. This refers to a baby who is born before early loss of the next child. Just as a rainbow represents the hope after the storm, the sunshine represents the calm before the storm. And, possibly the saddest term, a child who dies is often referred to as an 'angel baby'.  Even if you don't believe in any form of Heaven, I feel that this term offers some form of comfort ...

Mental Health Awareness Week is this week this year, ending today. It is such an incredibly important topic, and as someone who is currently going through some hard times, having a week to get more people thinking is great. Their big theme this year is stress, and the effects it has on our mental health. Stress is something that many people have to deal with, and I know that most people in my year at school are currently stressed about exams. As much as stress helps us, too much stress can make existing health issues much worse (trust me, I know). For more information, mental health foundation's website can be found  here . For those struggling/living with mental health issues: you are not alone . I know that it can feel like you are, but you are not. Remember that people love you and care about you. And if you have a relapse, don't beat yourself up, okay? It's a long uphill battle, and it will get better (I'm currently walking up a very very steep hill at th...

She clutches the bear closer to her chest, nuzzling its soft fur with her nose. It still holds the faintest scent of her family, of her home. She keeps her nose buried in the fur, trying to hold onto hazy memories of warmth, of laughter, of joy but they keep blurring back into the ugly, twisted remains of her house in front of her. Terrible shame , they all had said. When it happened. What a terrible shame. She agreed with them, but it was so much more than a shame. It did not matter to her that the bricks and debris would have to be cleared away in order for a new house to be built on top, that new plants would need to be cultivated and grown for the place to seem alive again. None of this mattered to her as she stood on what would have been the doorstep, staring numbly at the blackness and desolation. Tears blind her, stinging her eyes before dribbling down her cheeks. They mix with the rain, and she only cries harder. It’s no good now , she wanted to scream. The fir...